Sloppy Scenario at the CDC

Indulge me for a moment with an imaginary scenario: A friend asks you to store his anthrax for a little while. You don’t need several letters after your name to know you’re being asked to do something very, very dangerous. Let’s say you don’t have a real choice and agree to hold onto it.

First things first, you determine what kind of container you need to keep the bacteria truly encased and isolated. It’s either that or use your Ziploc baggies to move it around, but even we regular people know that’s insane. I mean, when a sandwich is in the Ziploc, you can still smell the PB&J. If the smell of PB&J can escape the Ziploc baggie, so can anthrax. So Ziplocs are out; a serious, official container for the horribly lethal bacteria is in.

It also needs to be refrigerated, so you’d get a small fridge and put a lock on it. No-brainer. Who knows, maybe your landlord lets a plumber in — and the last thing you want is an innocent stranger, scouting for a snack, to encounter anthrax in a Ziploc next to the Jell-O pudding and muffins.

Bottom line: The last thing you’d do is put the deadly stuff in an unsecured fridge in a hallway, where anyone could access it. That would be dangerous with a big helping of crazy sauce, right? Right.