Obama Puts Joe Biden In Charge Of Curing Cancer

Barack Obama’s State of the Union address included the announcement of a bold new push to cure cancer, which the president said would be led by none other than Vice President Joe Biden.

“Last year, Vice President Biden said that with a new moonshot, America can cure cancer,” Obama said midway through his address. “Last month, he worked with this Congress to give scientists at the National Institutes of Health the strongest resources they’ve had in over a decade. Tonight, I’m announcing a new national effort to get it done.”

“And because he’s gone to the mat for all of us, on so many issues over the past forty years, I’m putting Joe in charge of Mission Control,” he continued. “For the loved ones we’ve all lost, for the family we can still save, let’s make America the country that cures cancer once and for all.”